.Welcome to my world of life lessons. During the period of depression stress and enxity I learnt so much lessons i believe if we open up and express and shares our thoughts/ experiences we learn from each others and this way we can help others and can give sympathy and empathy both.
once i was going somewhere and i was waiting for my mumma On bus station. I saw a woman standing far away and she was pointing at me with her hand . When I went near, I saw that she is my mother . we met after a long time she had wore old clothes and her face was covered with mask. She was looking old poor woman. I felt very sad after seeing her.
when we were sitting inside the bus She told me that she is so tired. Actually She is a Head Teacher in a school where she has to walk 7 km to reach there. Some time ago some people had fallen from that hill. Her school is in the middle of the hills. No one can even walk there properly because if you look down, there is 300 m. deep trench. That is a scariest thing. There is no ro,ad . She told me about her entire journey and the difficulties she faced along the way. I was feeling so sad for her but I knew I can’t do anything . We both are helpless.
After a while I saw a woman sitting behind us , she was talking on the phone about her family problems. . Then I looked at all the passengers sitting in the bus. some were happy some were sad , Some people wore very beautiful clothes but my mother’s clothes were messy.
I thought if someone is thinking my mother is a teacher and she is wearing very dirty clothes they don’t know her whole story . They don’t know how much difficulties she has faced along the way.
Then that day I promised myself that I will never judge anyone after today. I realised that everyone who is in this bus everyone has a different story . Everybody is fasing problems.
Some people are sad that someone is exploiting them.
Some people are sick .Some people don’t have money to cure their disease.
Some kids sleep in the streets they don’t have money to eat Don’t know how many children are there in this world who don’t have parents. They also have to beg for food They cannot even eat food for two times.
If your parents can afford you food you are luckiest person. You should be thankful because you can eat your favorite dish. Don’t judge those who have same lunch. You can share your food with them if you want but if you don’t want to share then don’t make fun of them.
It is said that the more a person suffers, the more humble he becomes.
Don’t think if someone do not talk much may be they are suffering from inside. May be they are hurt. Don’t judge them. Some people have suffered so much in their life that they do not have the capacity to bear the sorrow anymore. Some people don’t have anyone with whom they can tell about their problems.
Be greatful that you have good clothes and don’t make fun of those who don’t have . There are significant number of people who don’t have clothes to wear in winter .
Some old parents are abandoned by their children. They don’t have money to eat. They have nobody with whom they can share their pain.
Constant Sadness Or Lack Of Interest In life. A darkness where Is No Light. A darkness where people lost The Power Of Recognising TheirInner Soul , Value , Intellectual ,Respect ,Joy. . Depression closes all the windows and doors of your achievements that can bring light into your life.
Why depression is mercilessly trapping us?
There Are Many Reasons For This : 1) I whatever we do we want validation from others. Such as do people like the dress I am wearing? Why these boys are not giving me attention am I not not prettier than her? I don’t want to go on stage because my friends make fun of me. because nowadays peoplebelieve if someone do not appreciate or help them they are nothing. Remember good things are God’s approval and theydonot need validations from others.
2) . Some people grow up but want to spend time with their past memories. Whether they are in their 40’s or 60’s, they do not want to be heel from their past And there are many people who do not even know what healing is and why it is important to be healed. What happened to them many years ago is giving them pain even today and because of that they are not able to be happy even if they want. Our education system is such where we are not given any knowledge about mental health while this is very important.The importance of good mental health is not written anywhere in our syllabus.
3) Somebody is in their lows , nobody cares about it , People nowadays feel that nobody is more unhappy than them. People themselves do not want to help anyone. If you don’t show mercy to anyone or help anyone, no one wants to help you either.
4 ) We Are Surrounded By Wrong People . We do not value ourselves, so there are many such people who are living with those people who are only giving them sorrow and pain. Some people are shattering our mental peace , torturing us , insulting us but we are with them Wheather they are our family members or relatives/friends because we can’t live without them. If We have been living in a place where our soul is not happy then nothing can give us pleasure.
How Can We Cope From Depression ?
1) Self-QuestioningAsk yourself what do you deserve? Am i happy with this place or these people? Can I happily grow with these people? Will these guys support me in my happiness and sorrow? Is my soul, heart ,mind feel happy with these people?
2) Change Your Environment Or Habits:. Live/be where you feel peace. If you can not change the environment then change the setting there. We Can’t Change Circumstances But We Can Change Our Habits
3) Shrink Your Circle and Stay Away From Energy Vampires. Stay away from friends , collogues , family members and relatives who are not your wellwisher. Stay away from people with whom you are becoming irritated or losing your charm and good behavior we don’t need them .
4) Follow Your Heart. If you think there is someone you feel good being with, spend time with them because heart and energy never lie. Whatever work you do that satisfies your soul, do thatwork. spend time with yourself.
5) Heal From Your Past Traumas . Healing is significant in our life heal your wounds by accepting the circumstances and surrendering to god. When we are sick, we take medicine, in the same way whatever our old wounds are, we have to be healed.
6) Surrender To GOD. GOD is the only true friend . Only he is able to help us. No storm and enemy is greater than GOD.
Can we get out of depression by changing our attitude?
Whatever is on this earth, everything can be achieved only through knowledge.True knowledge is not what you only know True knowledge is that which you implement in your life. Knowledge will come to you only when you have good will and urge to gain it.
Someone will be able to give you knowledge only if you have respect and gratitude for him. You have to be more polite , humble and kind .
When you really have such qualities which a teacher/mentor looks for in his disciple, then GOD also becomes your teacher/mentor . When GOD gives you knowledge, He puts you in many trials and then what you learn cannot be compared. You get knowledge not only from outside but also inside.
Yes, for this you have to read books too, but what kind of book you want to read, may GOD deliver that book to you. What information is needed in your life, it will reach you on its own, but you have to learn. Inner knowledge is more important than outer knowledge. Religious books will give you Inner knowledge . They will teach you mercy , love , freedom , devotion , value etc. Ask GOD to be your teacher and mentor. First know that how to live in this world . How can you handle your emotions. Know what you need to do.
Knowledge teaches you how to live. It makes you egoless. You come to know that there is nothing in this world that can be proud of.Pride means that you want to ruin yourself , You want to ruin every precious thing that GOD has given you. . When you gain knowledge you become devoid of hate, jealous ,anger , lust and Violence . It frees you from bad things . Then you don’t care who is happier than you and who is less richer than you . You don’t care if someone is earning more than you . You become good and a mature person soul. Then You have competition with yourself and not with anyone else. You become a happy soul.Whatever you do you get happiness.You find happiness in the happiness of others .
Knowledge makes you caring and responsible human being , you become animal lover also. While knowledge teaches you to love all animals, your intellect also teaches you which animal you have to approach and stay away from.If you can’t protect something then you don’t have any right to ruin anything them . When you become blessing to others then you receive blessings. Knowledge gives you wisdom.
Knowledge is goodness. In this world there are so many people who try to distract us from the path of goodness. So many books , people and blogs are filled with hate and distruction and show us wrong path like that snake who told Eve to eat that apple so GOD could punish her . Sometime we do the same mistake . That’s why some of us lack awareness and choose wrong path without knowing their consiquenses.
GOD exiled Adam And Eve from heaven when they didn’t obey GOD words but GOD is not merciless GOD loved them even after their huge mistake. GOD took good care of them even after that and helped them. GOD is GOD but there are some things that if misused once, then they destroy everything eg nucleir weapons , pandemics.
It is miserable that some people don’t know the meaning of knowledge. That’s why they get half incomplete knowledge and destroy themselves and others also. Acquiring knowledge means when you get information about something, you use it wisely , You also know its advantages and disadvantages. You become mature and not that stupid crazy person who misuses good things but doesn’t think about its consequences. Be more humble , polite , wise and implement good things in your life and you will find true knowledge from everyone and everwhere.
In our life we sometime choose to stay with wrong people and later they put us in trouble ,they hurt us , try to ruin us and they abandon us.
I found that nobody has power to mistreat me and you , if anybody has mistreated us , it was because of our behavior . We gave them permission to do that.
Iam going to explain you with story and I am sure after reading this you will understand where you are doing mistakes and why people are betraying you .
Here is a true story about a girl named Indiana who was abandoned by many people untill she did shadow work and promised to herself that she will not repeat it again.
Indiana had a friend named Stary . She helped her so many times but her friend always refused to help her. It continued . She cried a lot because of her. The voice of her heart always used to say that Stary is a cheap mean and a bad girl , her intentions are not good , she will put her in trouble but Indiana ignored whatever her heart was saying. STARY WAS JEALOUS of her because Indiana was everyone’s favorite girl so Starystarted spreading false false rumors about her. It continued later Stary putted her in a huge trouble. Stary said so much wrong about her and some people believed. Indiana was aware of that but she noticed her some friends are disgracing her.. Indiana thought it was her behaviour which is hurting her but no that was Stary , who was hurting her .
One day when Indiana new all about that she asked to herself why I gave her permission to hurt me ? But by then it was too late ?
Answer : Indiana took Stary lightly. She was helping her unconsciously. That’s why she didn’t notice that Stary is not loyal for her . Indian didn’t think and care about herself , she didn’t follow her intuitions, shedidn’t think about its consequences . Sheforgot her values.
Always Remember:. If we choose good company we gain and grow , if we choose bad company , we invite our own destruction .
Lessons swe should learn from here
We need good friends . If they are not loyal for us we don’t need them. We will not allow them in our beautiful life to ruin our happy life . Wewill allways ignore them.
2 ) when She was 10 years old her childhood friend named Pink and her mother was unexpected . Pink was her relative also and that’s why Indiana had so much love for her. Whenever they fight that mean girl Pink used to put all the blame on her. Although it was her fault And she used to say bad things about Indiana even to the people. Pink’s mother used to doubled everything no matter what. They spread many rumors about Indiana and her villagers believed because Indiana never told her story. She saw Pink’s many shades . Sometime Pink behaved very kind , helpful and innocent girl but Pink was a lier , cheater , dishonest and Freddy fellow .Indiana forgave her everytime . It continued for 7 years because Indiana had so much love and care for her. Pink and her mother started to ruin her reputation because she was very popular , brilliant , kind and helpful girl. She was monitor of her class also but Pink can’t be like her that’s why Pink was doing that. . It started When she was in 8th standard Pink and her mom used to criticize her . One of Her relative was saying mean things about her to her teachers. He used to say this girl is 13 years old but she quarrel with her Granny . Pink and her mother used to give teachers bribe so that she can get highest marks in school. Her classmates used to hate Pink so they never supported her but there were 3 teachers who supported her. They used to give Pink extra marks for nothing . Pink’s mother tried to instigate the teachers against Indiana. It happened again and again . Indiana ‘s teachers started to mistreat her . Indiana used to take participate in every competition . She was most popular and brilliant junior in her school. Everytime she try to participate in compitions her female teacher removed her name. Later Indiana lost interest in study and other activities she thought she is not good enough.and she became a victim of depression . Indiana lost her charm.
One day Indiana thought enough is enough why is Pink doing this to me ? Why I should be with her? why I should forgive her blunders ? Don’t have I any right to be myself ?
Answer : She had love and care for a wrong person or relative. She saw Pink is a selfish , mean , cheap , ungrateful and greedy . When she needed Indiana , she started to behave like an innocent , Caring , loving and honest person , but when her work was done, she changed completely. Indiana ignored Pink’s this ugly behaviour. You know why because She didn’t know her position, worth and value, talent . She didn’t respect , love , care herself.
Always Remember : The purpose of some people is to ruin the lives of others. In such a situation, we should get such people out of our life in time so that we can live a good life.It is our responsibility.
Lessons we should learn from here :
Relative mean who is gonna help Us in our ups and downs no matter we have money or not . We are beautiful souls . We love people unconditionally. We don’t need relatives who are greedy , fake and selfish and nobody wants them to have. We deserve good hearted people.
3 ) When she was 16 years old she was suffering from deep depression. She was in 10th standard. She became unconfident after her old school incident . Suddenly she became the slave of people and her mind. Because of her low confidence she became overthinker and numb. She used to sleep all day because she was suffering from so many things . She doesn’t used to go school daily when she started to go daily she was used to scare people’s opinions what would they say ? There was a cheap woman she used to say wow Indiana you came today will you come tomorrow ? like this she didn’t do the things that she used to love. She used to scare by people’s opinions. She used to think of people that what would people say before doing every good deed . Whether it is to go to school or to wear clothes or to go somewhere. Many People took her advantage. Even if someone praised her, she would consider it negative. She also found evil in her good . She never received affection from people. She lost her value and she decided to hate herself. She thought Staying completely closed in 1 room, sleeping, crying all day this is life . .There was nobody who can tell her that she shouldn’t live like this. It continued for 3 years.
After a few years, when Indiana recovered completely, she told herself that I had wasted my golden time (teenage) because of some people and my fickle mind. Why I did that life is too short .
Answer : : : : Many times we do not do some work consciously nor do we consider ourselves important. Like Indiana did. Yes life is too short, We don’t know anything about how many days we are here. We don’t know how the situation will be, how the people will be. The biggest mistake of Indiana was that she gave importance to the opinions of the people. She didn’t see how much impact it would have on her life. Her worst enemy was her own mind . If her mind was not so negative, then perhaps people’s opinion would not matter to her. If our enemy is hidden within us, then no matter how weak the enemies outside, they harm us.Hmm it is true that she went into depression due to people but the negative retard of Indiana ruined her life the most . It is the same with us, our mind has become our own enemy because we do not know it’s control.
Always Remember : He who has conquered the mind has conquered the world Because it is easy to fight with an external enemy, but if the enemy is hiding inside, no one can save you from your apocalypse .
Lessons we should learn from here :
What people say , think , believe about us it is not our headache if will try to make them happy we will go crazy . They are performing their personality and we are performing our personality. This is our life we are living this. Only We know about our pain and circumstances. They don’t nothing that how much storms we are facing. We just have to take care that whatever we do, see and say, it should not be against the good. We can’t make all people happy . even Jesus died for us but in this world there are so many people don’t care about his sacrifice.People find mistakes in God too. When we become slaves of our mind, we start moving towards our own destruction. It is important that we know to keep our mind under control .
4) 3 years later when Indiana went to Bali then she realized world has changed. She saw people became more cruel but She saw there is so much to live. She enjoyed it and she travelled alot and then her life changed completely. She bacame confident and she learnt how to stay away from bad people. She learnt so many life lessons and values . She learnt that everyone has different opinion but everyone has Right to live and express themselves without any hesitation . It is their birth right It was new beautiful beginning for her. She bacame a different person . She became self lover. Nature is a healer. If many people became their best version because they changed their oldenvironment . When we live alone for some time , when we go to new places and enjoy nature Nature heals us itself. We are surrounded by some toxic people they produce their toxins and we become Ill and we suffer , you know what I mean. We need me time.
Later Indiana thoughtWhy I was living in hell? Life is beautiful. Why I gave permission people to hurt me. Why I didn’t know that I can live happily like this? Why I was suffering ? Why did I lock myself in 1 room? Why I didn’t spend time with nature ? Why I wasted my 4 years ?
Answer ::When Indiana was suffering she locked herself in a room She completely broke contact with nature that’s why her depression was increasing. She didn’t see life outside from her room. She was surrounded by room walls, toxic people , negative mind . She spent time with her ill will she didn’t spend time with her. Sometimes we have to make our own way for our own happiness. If depressed people has changed or became their new version because they changed their toxic environment. People who spend time with nature also change themselves and grow very quickly.
Always Remember :. Nature is very kind because she is our mother . When we spend time with nature , nature heals us itself.
Lessons we should learn from here :
We have the right to live a happy life and it is our responsibility . At the end of the day It will not matter what and why we have taken wrong steps because of our circumstances and people. Rather it will matter how conscious and happy we lived life . And God will ask us how many good deeds we have done even in those bad times . We need me time. We need to spend time with nature so it can heal our old wounds. We don’t have to stay broken . We have to make happy life and it is our responsibility.
You are in pain depression because you are surviving you are not living. You are just adjusting yourself according to your situations because your uncontrolledmind and uncontrolled emotions are saying that you will find happiness here and there. There is a huge lack of self discipline and self love. Always remember selflove always comes from self discipline and Self discipline comes from your wisdom
There are so many causes but the main cause was lack of wisdom. If you are wise then you know how to live. Live means live not survive.
Some people are finding job and some have already. Some wants money more to live luxurious lifestyle. But some have already.
But not everyone is happy in their life do you know why? Because they are chasing people things etc. They are finding happiness in other things but they don’t know that the source of the happiness is inside them.
You know there are so many rich people but sometimes you read in newspaper that a good actress or a good actor or a businessman/business woman lawyer or doctor committed suicide.
They Did hard work to achieve their aim but some of them commit suicide and some of them become mental patient and some of them become unhappy in their life. They are not happy that’s why they are doing this
. And some fool like us think that they will find happiness when they will achieve their aim ,when they will achieve everything they want. If happiness in other things then why those people commit suicide those have everything they need.
So I hope you find that happiness is not in other things that is inside you. Yes relationship can be a source of happiness. Because that is most important thing in this world except you and your relationships.
Do you know what is the main cause of your sorrow and pain?
That is you your mind Your biggest enemy your uncontrolled mind. The main cause of your pain and sorrow is your mind and lack of wisdom.
A wise man always know how to live what is the life. Mind is In their control. your mind is saying do this you will find happiness do that you will find happiness this you will find happiness but at last you find that yes you are happy but you are not satisfied.
This is not enough you want more and more.
Your mind is not teaching you how to live your mind is teaching you how to survive.
Do you know the difference between live and survive.
Today you are in pain you want to get rid of this pain but you cant. You are saying you hate pain you hate worry you don’t want this life but you still doing old habits , old things those are making you worry those are putting you in pain. Because your mind is just thinking that you will find peace here you will find happiness there and you are listening commands and doing everything that your mind is saying. You are not taking action you are adjusting yourself here and there. A
A wise man knows if he is in worry or pain he is not feeling good where can he find peace. He Doesn’t lock himself in a room he doesn’t think about that shit he doesn’t do anything that gives him pain that gives him worry and stress. His mind is in his control. Emotions are in his control.
He knows his self worth value of his beautiful life. He knows one thing cannot destroy you.
Wise man Goes outside and spend time with himself and with nature. He doesn’t think what is wrong with him just sit outside and feels beautiful air and nature
But a fool person does opposite of this. If he will be sitting In heaven he will still think about his worry about his problems you will never find any solution and happiness.
This is called Survival series this thing you will find happiness here you will find peace here but you are not taking any action you are just adjusting yourself according to situations and you are saying you are happy you are happy but you are not happy your mind is not in your control your mind is your enemy. You are living with an enemy . Then tell me how an enemy can show you right path?
You can have 100 friends but inside of you , you have uncontrolled mind then that one enemy is enough to destroy you. Make your mind your friend. Control your emotions. Be wise.
You are living present moment and you are happy. You are sitting alone in a park and many people are with their friends love ones but you are alone but you are still happy because you know you are enough. You don’t care who is judging you, you are doing everything that is making you happy and you are ignoring that every shit that is giving you negative Vibes or hurting you. You are giving 100% in your every task happily. Because you know maybe today is your best day tomorrow may not. If you are not happy with something then you are finding solutions. If you are leaving you know no you have to leave a present moment a present moment is always beautiful and good then past and future. Your mind is in your control. If something is going wrong with you , you are not thinking about that shit you are just thinking about yourself because you know your life matters you matter your family members matter your relationships matter.
You are not pleasing , chasing, expecting.
Live today live your present moment, laugh today Love Today, you don’t know you will see tomorrow or not. If today you are happy live this moment tomorrow can be worse.
If today you are in pain don’t live in pain , guilt. Control your emotions and mind. Find happiness , solutions , don’t think you are in a wrong place make this place happy . Whatever you are doing wherever you are going enjoy every moment because you don’t know tomorrow you will see tomorrow or not.
If you want something different then you have to be different.
What is shadow work?
Shadow work — it is a practice of healing and self growth. It required surrender and acceptance.It means you have to show your true self. Once it is done its mean that nothing can trigger you without your permission.
This is the practice of loving what is, and setting the shame and judgements free, so that we can be our true selves.
Why shadow work is important?
It is important because we are traumatised by many things. We are hurt ,sad ,frustrated ,angry and lost. If I talk about my life it is important for me because I have done so many blunders and Many people used me and gave me wounds. I feel so much heavy. When I sit alone I find no peace in me. When I watch love stories I get hurt because they traumatize me and hurt me badly even I don’t have boyfriend. When I talk to people I can’t express myself. When I see my body I feel bad because I am lean. When my mind remind me about my sins I feel shame and I find myself in a control of negative thughts. Daily I have to fight with my fears , sins, wounds, resentments and emotions etc. I feel defeated and sometimes I think that I should commit suicide because I can’t handle this but I know it very well , If I want to live happily on this earth then shadow work is important for me. We all are facing this we all want peace , love , respect , healing in our life. That is why shadow work is important for those who want to be happy In thieir Life.
1 we all want to love ourselves unconditionally and accept our flaws . So other people will also accept and love for us.
What are the benefits of shadow work?
1• You accept every aspect of your life whether it is painful or joyful. Your past will no longer traumatize you.
2• you become kind to yourself and you know that if something bad happened or happening in your life you have to take stand for yourself and understand your pain and guilt. You are Beautiful child of God and wonderfully made. You deserve your kindness.
3• you surrender yourself to God you understand you can’t control things . you can do hard work ,smart work but fruit is in God’s hand.
4• you love yourself because you know after God and your mum only you can love yourself unconditionally.
5• you know your worth and you understand that people’s false opinions dont make you. Only your opinions cand make , create and destroy you.
6• You understand that if someone doesn’t love you or like you it doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve true love or you are not likeable. Right people will love you and if you want happy life then you want right people in your life not bad people.
7• your past experiences, traumas , and people’s word can’t trigger you. Now they are powerless.
8• Your wounds are healed , you have your peace, unconditional love, values, boundaries.
9• IT also allows us to feel greater senses of power .
10• you express yourself very well.
11• you don’t want to change your past mistakes because you accept them and you are not sad about that . You know you have learnt your lesson and you know you can’t change your past but you can change you right now.
12• You don’t feel shame about your body type , skin colour , weaknessess, disabilities etc.
How can we practice shadow work ?
Remember ::: if something is important that is not method that is a process. Process want love, honesty , consistency and discipline.
In thIs process we have to work with our shadow selves to eradicate their negative effects in our lives and so we can be whole new one.
How To Do Shadow Work——
1+ you have to heal yourself from any kind of trauma or old pain.
Sit in a place where no one can disturb you. Then ask to yourself what traumatize you and why ? You will find answer what and why from it has you then work on this. If something traumatizing accept it and say yes it’s traumatized me because of this reason. Say to yourself and always remember it you can’t change anything you can change only your behaviour your mind set your heart but you can’t change other things. Accept it you can’t do anything accept it that yes it’s traumatizing because of this or that reason. You are a human. And say to yourself I believe in my God I believe in him I have full faith on him he will give me better than this or give me this he will work for me. Only he can help me to get out of the trauma. Have faith on God and accept it.
Eg—. If there is someone whose DP traumatize you ignore that Dp. Accept eat and say yes it’s traumatized me but I can’t do anything yes it is the reality. I can’t change it. But I have full faith on my God that he will do great for me. I know It has given me so much pain but now I accepted it and it will never bother me again by God’s grace. My god is bigger than my fear ,my trauma , my worries and whatever I am facing in my life.
Once you will accept that and and note in your mind that you have GOD your GOD will do great for you, then that will never traumatize you. It is my experience. Trust me it will work. But only if you trust in God. Heal from every bad experience every bad negative thoughts and trauma with the help of this method.
Focus on your breath. Learn about meditation. You should know why meditation is important.
Because of meditation you will find peace , confidence , something deep , good wisdom , Beautyfull attitude , discipline and good energy in yourself. You will start to live in present. You will not be a daydreamer who only dreams but doesn’t work on his or her goal.
You will find yourself very confident whether you are surrounded by so many people or you are on a stage. Meditation is miracle it will connect you to your inner self, higher self, and God.
3+ Selflove ——
Self love means you are spending time with yourself. You are doing right things what makes you happy or can make you better version of yourself.
Do small things like if you are girl paint your nails, change your daily routine, work on your skin appearance, go out , do new hair styles, read book, read or watch those things what makes you happy or make you feel like you need to change your life or do good things.
If I talk about myself when I feel that my passion is decreasing then I watch science experiments or model’s blog.
Say to yourself that you love yourself and you are very happy about this chapter.
c___ surround yourself with good people or if you think you don’t have those people who can lift you up then take some break from them. Because if you will surround yourself with negative people then you can’t develop yourself. Because these people are energy vampires if you will try to do anything good they will criticize you. No matter how good you are. Your attitude should be like — I don’t deserve these kind of people in my life. I respect myself I know my worth and values.
When I was 19 years old I was self loving person . All that I learn from Selena. That time I conquer so many psychological and physical fears. That was my first year of college. I never wanted to go there but I had to go. 2018 was a greate and huge year. My transformation was like a miracle. Everybody was shock and something I can’t describe. I learnt so many things and I knew my value . I didn’t repeate history when people used me so much. I was totally different person in the same place. My attitude , values , boundaries all were changed.
Storms were still in my life. If I say Storm that means I was in huge trouble mentally , physically and financially. 2018 was great and Beautyfull year for me. I learnt so many lessons and the things I learnt I used to implement them. I was in depression since 2015 But in 2018 won my battle within 4 months.I became a completely different person in 4 months.
There was one thing , I was not aware from that. I was in happy condition but not in happy place and I was not surrounded by good people. In 2018 everyone was shocked and surprised but I was not . They noticed so much and I did not noticed. That’s why I was like ooo hhh I did this or that thing in amezing and Great way but it’s ok it is not huge thing. This is normal , Everyone can do this. I didn’t choose good friends and After Depression I did not know what happiness was, I used to think that the feeling that is happening to me is happiness but I was satisfied. There was something missing.
I will write about it later
That year I received so much love and compliments from everyone. I was becoming a real lady but in 2019 I lost me and my spark .
In 2019 I lost me
Because my family was facing big financial and other problems . My sister was in another college . She was not with me . My mommy used to go school daily . That year I learnt so much from my mother. She is really a great and powerful lady. Her school was very far. The bus could go up to 10 kilometers for her school.She had to go through a mountainous route. The path was very rough and narrow. There were 300 m deep trench where many people had died after falling. She also had to go to school in the snow . I remember once the mother had an infection in one eye, then her one eye was remain closed, it did not open. But still she could see with one eye and go through that bad and Narrow way .I used to so much worry about her. She also went to school in the hot sun, She went to school even in the deep rain.
I could not spend time with Momi. I decided to stay at Granny’s house, I did not know that my decision would be the worst decision. That was the second biggest mistake of my life, I lost my beauty, charm, confidence, beautyfull voice and and my powerful behavior and so much things. I learnt there so much lessons . I still hate myself when I see photos of that year, I hate old RS . I have deleted my all videos and photos all memories of 2019. I never had such a day when I would be happy.There was no one to wipe my tears.Sometimes that year I felt that if I had found my gentleman, my burden would have been lighter. I could have shared some of my things or would have been happy for some time. I used to cry a lot. People I am living with were drastic and devil’s children. There was never a day when no one quarreled with me there. Those people were 20/30 years older than me, but they used to fight with me just like small children I had to get up at 4:30 AM in the morning, Then I had to get ready for college, At seven o’clock i had to leave the house And 3 kilometres had to walk. I used to take pleasure in it. But I did not like that my own relatives would fight with me. I try very hard to make a place in their heart But I failed And I learnt one lesson If someone doesn’t like you it’s meant they have made their mind to hate you, . You can’t change their mind Even if you do some sacrifice for them. They will hate you without any reason Even if you are the best person in the world .
This happens to all of us, we all meet such people. But the difference is that some people never get out of that bad marsh and some people very quickly get out of that marsh .
I was helpless to stay in that place. I used to regret a lot. I was given food for two times, they used to complain if I ate more food, . But I did not feel sad about all those things because I knew that I am a very good person My God was with me. But I did not know that I was suffering.I slowly lost my skills and I did not know.I thought I was fine but I was not well At that time, I thought maybe this is life , My condition was getting worse They used to accuse me falsely, I did not tell my mother all this Because i knew mumma wouldn’t trust me Mama will not be able to do anything if she trusts me too. I was choking at that place. I have suffered a lot there , I had forgotten the meaning of my life. I never felt that I am worthless but I felt that I had lost . It’s hard to gather broken pieces. I need to heel now . I am doing again those mistakes. I lost my way for them.
We all want to control our monkey mind . We want happiness and wanna live in present moment but this head noise disturbing us mentally .
Actually here are five hinderances. If we conquer this everything will be in our control.
. If you are not successful or calm or happy because of these five hindrances.
I am gonna explain it by this beautiful inspirational story.
Once upon a time , A woman was very beautiful active, intelligent and wise. Her name Was Me Arpna.
SHe heard from an old lady in her village that the mountain named Mainaak is very beautiful , Whoever goes there gets great amenities and all kinds of rare gems. She said that I will also go there and later on I will take my family also and live happily.
Old lady said— No my child , the path is very difficult and you can’t go.
Me Arpana— Why , I am young and wise. I can go.
Old lady — It is called ecstasy. Not everyone can reach there, Trillions people wanted to go there,Lost all the way Half a . million People lost halfway. Some people came back, some people got entangled in the Puzels and died there
Me Arpna —- I will go with my 6 friends .
She went with her 6 friends. When she reached the forest,
Gibberly said that this forest is magical Different types of trials have to be given here.
Marry —— Rare items are not easily found and that is why they are called rare items.
Indonesian said — oaky , we have both . Hahahaha .
Mehtangi —— yes , But for this we do not need external power Or much physical power You must have inner power This is the magic. — Promise we’ll all live together and reach the Mainaak mountain We will not leave each other and fight every difficulty .
Everyone said yes and went inside the forest. There they found an old tree. He said that I know that you want to go to Mount Manak, so I will teach you one.Thing You will get many distractions on the way But Don’t forget your goal .
Girls said thank you dear old tree.
They got hungry while walking,They were very tired, Disha beautiful restaurant. The restaurant was very beautiful . There was every comfort It was like a dream. Delicious food and its beauty captivated everyone They got what they asked for .
Rainista—–is this the rare mountain?
Pheona said — no. That is far away .
Everyone saw very beautiful scenes,
Rainista saw the beautiful castle, she said I do not want to go from here.
Rainista said~~~ I don’t want to leave .
Pheona said — no lets go. It is a distraction.
Rainista heard sweet music in the same restaurant Hearing the music, she said this is relaxing . I don’t want to go ahead . There is nothing better than this.
Pheona said — no lets go .this all is distraction.
Rainista saw Beautyfull pond She went inside that lotus filled pond
Rainista said _——– Do you all think that there can be something more beautiful than this. It is even more pleasant than MainaaK mountain. , you all go please. I got what I wanted .
Everyone explained to her but she did not listen, everyone left her and went ahead.
This is our first hindrance.
It’s called SENSUAl DESIRES.
EAR , NOSE , TONGUE , SKIN AND EYES ARE OUR FIVE SENSES . We are like Rainista we get distracted by our sensual desires. Rainista didn’t had control on her five senses that’s why she got distract and couldn’t move forward this same happens with us many times.
So First we need to control our Sensual desires.
SECOND HINDRANCE.(ILL WILL).
The way ahead was very bad. There was mud all over the place. suddenly rain starts.
Mehtangi said — o God , if this will continue I will give up . I don’t like bumpy roads, lightning , storm , mud , darkness scary wind and this path is full of troubles . There is nothing that I can like or love. Rainista was right . I wanted to live with her. I am stupid I choose the path of troubles and pain.
she was crying.
Me Arpna said— listen dear Mehtangi I know this path is not Beautyfull it is the place we are getting what we do not like, but if we have to go to Mount Mainaak then we will have to bear it all. Such small miseries come before happiness.
Mehtangi said — You are right. I will walk. I will not give up.
Next they saw , many people were staring them , there were scary mountains. Lightning was blazing. There was a huge river ahead. They all face more difficulties than before.
Mehtangi said — in order to cross the river I don’t know how to swim. Mehtangi was crying and she sad look what is happening. This is a sign that we should not walk ahead . People are staring us lightning was blazing , we don’t have deleceous food. It is not a pleasant and beautyfull journey I can’t tolerate this and I can’t go because it is hurting me. I don’t want this pain.
Peheona said— yes my dear, you are right this path is full of difficulties and trouble. Don’t give up we are all are facing this. Yes this journey is painful but beyond this journey there is ecstasy. These all are trials and cost for that ecstasy. Don’t give up.
Mehtangi said no, I give up. I can’t go forward.
This is our second hinderance it is called Ill will. We all are like Mehtangi. We don’t like bumpy roads, we don’t like sorrow, pain and rain. We don’t feel good when we don’t get what we like. We don’t like this and that. And we give up because of our ill will.
Remember– What ever it is you dislike would not make a pleasant journey. In order to move forward in order to be successful you have to do things that you don’t like. It is what it is. If you want a beautiful life and you want to do something great you have to face trials . So
let go this ill will.
THIRD HINDERANCE ( DUPLNESS /HEAVYNESS)—
All the girls started moving forward. Everyone was tired of walking. They all faced difficulties with ease .
There was snow everywhere.And there was also a river in the middle, they had to cross that river.
Indonesian— oh my goodness. I am so much tired. My body is heavy and now my mind is dull. I can’t think straight. .
Pheona— No, dear we all are tired . We all are facing the same now best is that we are very near to our aim.
Indonesian—– I wanna take rest I can’t go further. I am tired completely. I am feeling like I can’t move . I am done.
Me Arpna — Indonesian if you want to take rest you can take but don’t give up. After sometime we will again walk and we are very close to our destiny.
Indonesian — No , I don’t have that much stamina. You go , I will go back . I can’t walk I did enough I am happy for this journey and this time I am exhausted.
This is third hindrance it is called dullness heaviness. Heaviness of body and doulness in mind. It is common. Many times We can’t think straight and we feels like we can’t move. It is a reality that we are going to get down ourselves time to time but we must eventually get ourselves out .
Don’t give up take rest.when you feel burned out. Learn to rest not quit.
Indonasian went back she knew that she she is very close to her destiny but she gave up . She didn’t think twice or thrice.She just made her decision and went back. She just thought about her pain exhaustion but she didn’t think about ecstasy reward which she can achieve if she didn’t give up.
Forth hindrance is restlessness.
Pheona was very wise. While she was walking with her friends she was just thinking about Rainista , Mehtangi and Indonesian. Thoughts were coming from her mind to give up. She was very confused.
Pheona — hey girls , those three are not with us we are facing this shit here , and those three are in their happy places . May be they are happier and are in better places than us. Can’t we go back . My mind is kept saying there is no Rare mountain we should go back .
Marry — no Pheona , they gave up and yes now this time we are facing more problems and difficulties. Maybe those three are happier and in beautiful place then us. But for how long? There are Difficulties right now but later on we will enjoy more than them. They gave up just for a little pleasure.
Such is the beginning of greatness and great pleasures, Initially one has to suffer a lot but in the end it is very pleasant.
Pheona — okay। I understood. let’s go.
A lot of negative thoughts started coming to pheona’s mind. She had an endless chatter in her mind. SHe could not understand whether she listened to her mind or not. . But she was not able to understand that how to stop the thoughts that are raging in her mind. She tried to avoid the thoughts of her mind a lot, but later her mind was saying that she should not go further, Maybe the way is very bad, Even if she goes, she has everything, Had it been a rare mountain, it would have been visible. It’s probably a misconception Going forward, whether she will be able to stay alive or not Etc. she got very involved in them. And she felt that she really should not go further from here.
Later Pheona said — I am so sorry but I don’t think that there is a rare mountain named Mainaak . We all are waisting our time . My mind is saying we should go back .
Marri explained her a lot and also gave evidence of the truth of Mount Manak.But pheona said that that she is going back and she went.
This fourth hindrance is our monkey mind.our mind is a house of endless chatter many thoughts comes in our mind and we get confuse. In order to cease the endless chatter of our mind you need to settle your mind on the present moment.
Our fifth hindrance is sceptical doubt….
Sceptical doubts and restlessness of mind is different things. Both of these originate from mind but are different different.
Now Marri and Arpana were left only. On the way ahead they met to a girl.
Marry —- Hey who are you ? What are you doing here ? Did you go to Manak Mountain? What did you find there?
Girl said —
Marry— yes I am talking to you. Give me answer of my question s.
Girl—- I have never been there It is very difficult to get there but it is not even impossible. My grandfather had gone there. He told me that to reach there, many preparations have to be made.Are you both going thereThe
Girl—- From here both of you must go ahead alone. Only one of you will get that treasure. Manak mountain is a short distance away.
Marry — Dear Me Arpna I don’t know who will get that treasure .of ecstasy . But I wish you best of luck. Now both of us will go on different routes. Take care .
Marry choose left cave and Me Arpna choose Right cave.
Journey of Marry ::::: Marri got tired of walking. She saw a beautiful girl inside the cave. She was so beautiful Her body was glowing She looked like a nymph. Nymph had a baby lion in her hands.
Marri– I want to go to Mainaak mountain .Would you like to help me?
Nymph— I can not help you Only you can help yourself To get something in life, you have to fight alone. Yes, someone can help you, Someone can suggest you, someone can stand with you, But you have to fight yourself. . I’ll just tell you that all you have to do is win from your inner battle .Then God will help you in the difficulties outside.
Do not keep any kind of apprehension inside you only then You will reach your destination .
Marri reached a place where there was darkness. She went on continuously for two days . She sat in one place..She was thinking about her friends SHe thought everyone left her alone. My every friend gave up half way. What if i gave up too ?Am i ready for the difficulties ahead?
Marri was doubting her own abilities.She didn’t like her loneliness . She was still walking. Thus, walking in that dark dense forest, she saw a house . It was very old house. She decided that she would rest here for a while
Marri started walking again. While walking, she saw that she was coming out of that forest. She sees light ahead.
Then she followed the light and reached on a bridge . There a crow gave her red rose and said Beautyfull Beautyfull angel why are you walking so alone. It seems that you are a stranger but why are you looking in anger? .
Crow said— beautyfull Angel .
It is Just some distance away.
Marry – thank you .
Marri started walking forward. He later found a beautiful girl. Marri thought she had found a partner .
Mrri—- who are you ? Are you also want to go Mainaak mountain .
Maari— Mother , I felt so lonely . I was in fear and Dear mother I thought that I will die in that condition. Dear I want to go On Mainaak mountain. Give me directions .
Goddess of directions—- here is the way go my child here you I’ll understand everything . In actual this mountain Mainaak is not only treasure of gems but it is also a treasure of wisdom and lessons. On the way you learnt so many life lessons never forget them .once you will forget them you will again fall in trouble s. Here you will find something that is beyond any treasure. My blessings are with you my dear daughter. It is the end of this darkness and biggining of the light. I give you bright and beautiful dress . Now you are in light. And she disappeared.
Marri — Wow this place is a real heaven . Oh my lord my journey was worth it . Now my all pain has been ended. These all animals are Beautyfull .
It is the end of her journey it is happy ending. So question is —- what you learn from her journey . I am not gonna explain this hinderance because I have already explained it. ………….
So I told you about all five hindrances. We all face these five hindrances in our life. If you want to conquer these 5 hinderances you have to control your mind not by forcing this but with meditation or control on your desires. If you are happy come inside then outside noise not gonna affect you. But if you have noise inside then outside peace not gonna make you happy. Your happiness peace victories are within you . You don’t have that much problem outside but you have so much problems inside. Live for yourself means you are making your inner environment peaceful and happy. Live for yourself means you don’t like or want those stupid negative thoughts which are gonna make you mentally. Your mental health is important. Mental health means your mind is in your control you are not in control of your emotions are mind. You know what kind of food need your mind or brain. Mind food if positive thoughts and brain food is intelligent thoughts. Know your worth and values nobody is gonna come to to make us happy and victo
Don’t have fear of change. Embrace changes. We all should embrace changes. Let go and let in this is the best therapy . Let go bad habits and let in good habits. Let go old thoughts let in beautiful positive thoughts. Accept yourself whatever whoever you are. If you think you need change then change yourself and every area of your life where you find that you need change. So if you want to change yourself you need to do for saying that is the most important thing accept yourself, accept your bad habits, don’t love your bad sides and bad habits but accept . And accept that you need change you need to do work in these areas. Accept every aspects of your life whether it is happiness or sorrow in sorrow you need a strong powerful mind. We all have many disabilities . Most of us we have disable mind because we are in control of our mind. Everytime We don’t need therapy we need to control on our emotions and mind. If you have uncontrolled mind and you don’t have control on our emotions anyone can hurt you anyone can bully you bet you because you don’t take your stand, you don’t accept yourself people say you are ugly bad stupid scumbag and you cry why? Because you think that they know you better than yourself. You are here to live not to impress . If someone dont like you love you you don’t have to care about them. You love yourself your family members love yourself the people are most important in your life those love yourself that matters. Accept yourself and change yourself.
Grief comes in everyone’s life, but still people live, they do not lose hope and courage to live. Do you know why because they know There is a light beyond the darkness, Happiness is beyond suffering . When someone is surrounded by the ocean of sorrows, He feels that darkness has been covered in his life. But this does not actually happen. Sometimes we lose people who are very close to our heart, We hurt and cry for them , They always see us when we cry, They love us, they can’t us see us in pain , seeing us sad, Do you think they will be able to live in peace in the haven? No. Don’t cry and Do not give up hope of living life.. If you have given up in this misery, Stand up don’t give up. You are a Strong warrior.